


Pretty Savage

by ushibread



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Chaos, Haha yolo, M/M, Multi, This is trash, author’s take on the bad bitches chat, bc im a simp and im not ashamed of it, chatfic, everyone’s in love with kageyama, idk what im doing, literally everyone is either semi-ooc or hella ooc, literally just me simping over ushijima kageyama and tsukishima, send help, there’s a plot in here somewhere idk what the fuck it is yet tho, there’s also gonna be a tsukki and a ushijima harem in future chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:27:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27859818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ushibread/pseuds/ushibread
Summary: “We some bitches you can’t manage.”Oikawa adds random people from different schools because he wanted a bad bitches squad with the prettiest people he could find.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Aone Takanobu/Futakuchi Kenji, Daishou Suguru/Hiroo Koji, Goshiki Tsutomu/Kawanishi Taichi, Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Sakusa Kiyoomi/Miya Atsumu, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Shirabu Kenjirou/Yahaba Shigeru
Comments: 19
Kudos: 225





	1. Hello

_**welcome to hell, motherfuckers!** _

_🌟_

_so, you decided to read this piece of shit book. congratulations! you're in for one awfully disappointing ride, i hope you enjoy your time!_

_to be clear, this is a haikyuu chat au, because i'm a very original author and totally did not just write a book that was something other haikyuu au authors have written on this app. chapters (may) vary from posts to group chats, and will also include narratives (at some point)._

_this is a haikyuu bitch squad chatfic. and these are the characters that i (personally) think would fit the pretty &petty image really really well. ofc this is just my opinion, but please no hate :(_

_fair warning, almost everyone here is highkey ooc so i'm very sorry about that 😅_

_this will include other characters and chats as well (i.e. captains chat, pretty setters chat, japan youth camp, etc.) but will mainly focus on the bitch squad. i'm also open to any other chat suggestions! :)_

_🌟_

_**now that we've cleared that up, let's discuss my ~~very original~~ usernames, but probably will be subject to changes. i will immediately update this chap if i decided to change a few users in the future.** _

_akaashi keiji:suffering_

_futakuchi kenji:bitch_

_oikawa tooru:best setter_

_yahaba shigeru:creampuff_

_kunimi akira : dead inside_

_sakusa kiyoomi:sasuke but prettier_

_sugawara koushi:soft mom_

_ennoshita chikara:no shit_

_kageyama tobio:i just want some milk_

_tsukishima kei:bitchass lamppost_

_kozume kenma:apple pie_

_hiroo koji:osasuna lovechild = > tired snek_

_daishou suguru:sneky hiss hiss_

_kuguri naoyasu:end me = > baby snek_

_shirabu kenjirou : salt shaker_

_semi eita : seme eitass_

_kawanishi taichi : judging u 24/7_

_suna rintarou : sloth_

_miya atsumu : ha im the older twin = > atsuwu_

_miya osamu : im the mature twin = > owomoo_

_i will squeeze in as much of my ships as i can. and by ships i meant rarepairs :D_

_and if you get the reference to kageyama's username, i love you 😔🥺💖💖💖_

_🌟_

_**now, let's go to the part where you (most likely) came here for; the ships.** _

_lol i ship almost everyone in haikyuu and some of these are probably not what most of you guys want, so if you're butthurt about the ships, then please don't read._

_i suggest read the tags but bc i'm an indecisive bitch, the ships will most likely be subject to changes lmhao._

_lol idfk what ships i wanna do so let's (most likely) just wing it 🥰🔫_

_🌟_

_**warnings** ⚠️ :_

_\- cursing (lots of it)_

_\- may contain offensive language_

_\- sexual humor_

_\- stupid jokes_

_\- no definite plot/storyline_

_\- the writer is an idiot_

_🌟_

_**well, now that that's all over, let's start this shitfest!** _


	2. bitch squad? bitch squad.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa makes a group chat.

_**oikawa** added **sugawara** , **kageyama** , **ennoshita** , **akaashi** , **kenma** , **tsukishima** , and **3** **others** into the **chat**._

_**oikawa** named the **chat** ' **bitch** **squad** '_

**kageyama**

what the fuck

who the fuck

why the fuck

when the fuck

where the fuck

**tsukishima**

awwwe look at that

the king knows his 5 w's 🤧

**kageyama**

YOU LITTLE SHI—

**sugawara**

KAGEYAMA TOBIO

TSUKISHIMA KEI

**kageyama**

sorry mom

**tsukishima**

...

**oikawa**

yoohoo~

_**kageyama** hasleftthe **chat**_

****

_**sugawara** has left the **chat**_

****

_**tsukishima** has left the **chat**_

**oikawa**

RUDE

_**ennoshita** has added **sugawara** , **kageyama** , and **tsukishima** to the chat_

**ennoshita**

like hell i'm suffering through

this shit alone

**kageyama**

tf does the door want

**oikawa**

RUDE TOBIO-CHAN 😫

**kenma**

what the fuck is this

**akaashi**

^

**yahaba**

^^

**kunimi**

^^^

**semi**

^^^

**yahaba**

oikawa-san why tf is shiratorizawa's

ex-setter now pinch server

in this chat

**semi**

can you at least show some fucking respect to your

seniors you little shit ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐

**oikawa**

I ADDED SEMI-CHAN HERE BC

I DON'T LIKE THEIR OTHER SETTER ヽ(‵﹏′)ノ

**tsukishima**

don't worry, no one likes you too

**oikawa**

RUDE GLASSES-CHAN 😩

**sugawara**

oikawa stop with the caps

**ennoshita**

is it too late to commit

self murder?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol watch me abandon and drop this fic in two days 😂


	3. you have been added

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More people, more bullshit to deal with.

_**bitch squad** _

_**[** 5:56 AM **]**_

**oikawa**

good morning! 🥰

**tsukishima**

die

**kageyama**

don't ruin my day so early

🅱️lease

**ennoshita**

tf is so good about the morning

if u were the first one to fucking greet me

**kunimi**

i just wanted to sleep

is that so bad?

**semi**

lol barely five seconds in and oikawa's

already getting roasted 😂

**oikawa**

YOU'RE ALL SO MEAN 😩

**kunimi**

mEaN iWA-cHaN

**oikawa**

KUNIMI CHANSKIHSBAXMS

**kageyama**

tbh this chat dry as fuck

**sugawara**

WHOMST THE FUCK TAUGHT

THE BABY TO FUCKING CURSE

**oikawa**

...

**akaashi**

...

**kenma**

...

**semi**

...

**ennoshita**

...

**tsukishima**

...

**kunimi**

...

**kageyama**

look, im not saying it's you—

**ennoshita**

but it's definitely you

**kageyama**

this chat dry asf tho

so imma add some ACTUAL bad bitches

**akaashi**

please no

**ennoshita**

^

**semi**

why do i have a bad feeling about this

_**kageyama** has added **shirabu** , **sakusa** , **futakuchi** and **miya** **atsumu** to the chat._

**shirabu**

the fuck

**semi**

oh so that's why

**shirabu**

eat shit semi-san ✌︎✌︎✌︎

**oikawa**

TOBIO-CHAN

WHY DID YOU ADD HIM 😭

**shirabu**

fuck you too, oikawa

**miya** **atsumu**

TOBIO??!

AS IN MY TOBIO-KUN??!! 😍😍

**oikawa**

teh fook

"my tobio"????

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHgodieinaholeubitchAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAhebelongstomeandiwachanHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

[cut for length]

**sugawara**

i saw that oikawa 😌

**kageyama**

saw what?

**miya atsumu**

oh? oH—🤪

**semi**

👀 💅🏻 ✨ 

**shirabu**

heh 😈 

**tsukishima**

yes, so subtle 🙄

**oikawa**

YOU PEOPLE SAW NOTHING

**miya atsumu**

TOBIO-KUN YOU DIDNT GREET ME YET 🥺

**kageyama**

hi miya-san └(^o^)┘

**miya** **atsumu**

HELLO MY TOBIO-KUN ❤️

wait lemme add some people too

**kenma**

HELL NO—

_**miya** **atsumu** has added **miya** **osamu** , and **suna** to the chat._

**sugawara**

WOAH WOAH WOAH

BACK OFF MIYA!! STAY AWAY

FROM THE MOTHERFUCKING BABY

**miya** **osamu**

the fuck did ya do now sumu

**miya** **atsumu**

i just claimed tobio-kun

before any of these dumb hoes did 👁👅👁

**suna**

the way im embarrassed to be even associated with ya

**miya** **osamu**

how'd ya think i feel

im his twin 😐

**sakusa**

what is this chat for

and why did you add me, kageyama?

**oikawa**

THIS IS THE BAD BITCHES CHAT

MADE BY YOURS TRULY 😘

**sakusa**

begone germ 🔫

**futakuchi**

i—HAHAHAHAHA

**miya atsumu**

TOBIO-KUN YA THINK IM A BAD BITCH?!

🤧😍🥰❤️😩💖💖😚

**sakusa**

first, you call me normal

and now you're calling me a bitch?

**kageyama**

SAKUSA-SAN THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT I PROMISE 🥺

**sakusa**

...really?

**kageyama**

YES

**sakusa**

mmm k then

**miya osamu**

*cough* simp *cough*

**miya** **atsumu**

aren't ya a bit bitchy tho omi-kun? 😶

**sakusa**

did i ask for your

motherfucking opinion, miya?

**miya** **atsumu**

no sir 😩

**sakusa**

then shut the fuck up 🤩

**miya** **atsumu**

yes sir 😳

**shirabu**

the sub jumped outta that one

**kunimi**

anna oop— 🤭

**miya** **osamu**

and he says he's a top 😂

**miya** **atsumu**

shut yer damn trap samu

**shirabu**

wait so we can add more people?

**semi**

DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE

**shirabu**

➖👄➖

**semi**

kenjirou istg—

_**shirabu** has added **kawanishi** , **daishou** , **kuguri** and **hiroo** to the chat._

**daishou**

what in the flying fuck is this

**kawanishi**

how tf did you even get their numbers?!

**shirabu**

✨ resources ✨

**hiroo**

i literally don't know anyone in this chat other

than my team members and the setters from 

nekoma and fukurodani

**daishou**

wait kenma's here?

**kenma**

tf do you want you snake

**akaashi**

...kenma?

**kenma**

no ❤️

**daishou**

oh lol

how's it going tetsu-chan ☺️

still sporting that ugly bedhead?

**kenma**

im doing great!!! hbu sugu-chan ☺️

still not over mika-chan dumping you?

**daishou**

👁💧👄💧👁

tetsu u bitch

**hiroo**

HAHAHAHAHA HE GOT YOU THERE SUGURU

**tsukishima**

i leave the chat for ten minutes

and now there's more people in here than before tf

**kenma**

TSUKKI!!

**tsukishima**

new phone who dis 🧐

**kenma**

TSUKKIAPSOIAKSJA

**kenma**

sorry, kuro took my phone while

i was busy with my game

**kuguri**

can everyone at least introduce

themselves? idk half the people here

**daishou**

KUGURI YOU'RE HERE!

**hiroo**

hi kuguri 👋

**kuguri**

hello hiroo-san

**daishou**

i—

**oikawa**

HELLO EVERYONE

WELCOME TO THE BAD BITCHES GC

BECAUSE WE ARE SUPERIOR AND THE BADDEST

BITCHES OUT THERE

**kageyama**

debatable

seeing as you're in this chat

but do go on ( ◕‿‿◕ )

**oikawa**

TOBIO-CHAN 😖

**sugawara**

anyways, how about let's all

introduce ourselves and what school we're from

**semi**

im also assuming we all play volleyball?

how about let's state our positions too?

**akaashi**

how about we say what year we're in too?

**kunimi**

the moms have spoken 😔💅🏻

**oikawa**

oikawa tooru, aoba johsai, third year

the best captain and setter 🥰

**kageyama**

you literally tried to knock me out

in middle school tf you mean best captain 🤡

**miya** **atsumu**

HE WHAT—

**yahaba**

moving on!

im yahaba shigeru, second year

pinch server and reserve setter

also from aoba johsai

**shirabu**

oh look semi-san, you're both the same 🥰

**yahaba**

im gonna skin you alive u little shit

**kunimi**

first year, kunimi akira

aoba johasai, professional napper

**oikawa**

that is not an official position

kunimi-chan

**kunimi**

idc didnt u replace me with mad-dog?

**yahaba**

he's still older than you

you little shit

**shirabu**

awwe, yahaba's defending his boyfriend 🥺

**yahaba**

HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND

WE'RE JUST GOOD FRIENDS

**ennoshita**

that little ✨wall slam✨ during our match says otherwise 😌

**oikawa**

👁👄👁

➖👄➖

👁👄👁

im sorry what—

MY PRECIOUS LITTLE KOUHAI DID WHAT

TO MAD DOG-CHAN?!

**sugawara**

i could literally FEEL the ✨sexual tension✨

between you two

**yahaba**

WE'RE NOT DATING!

**futakuchi**

so are we still gonna introduce

ourselves or nah 🤨

**kenma**

just end me now

**kawanishi**

^

**akaashi**

^^

**kuguri**

^^^

**ennoshita**

^^^^

**suna**

^^^^^

**sakusa**

^^^^^^

**tsukishima**

how do i delete humanity

oh shit this isn't google

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol im not even funny why tf did i write this 😂


	4. the naming ceremony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys come up with dumb usernames for themselves 😩

_**bitch squad** _

_**[** 6:25 AM **]**_

**futakuchi**

anyways! futakuchi kenji, 2nd year

dateko's captain and ace

**daishou**

A SECOND YEAR FOR A CAPTAIN?!

**futakuchi**

our third years retired and

moniwa-san thought it was a good idea

to make me the next captain 🤡

**yahaba**

a horrible idea if you ask me

**shirabu**

well we're glad we never asked then 🙄

**yahaba**

LISTEN HERE YOU FUCKING SALT MINE—

**ennoshita**

ennoshita chikara, 2nd year

karasuno's future captain

and resident ✨forgotten✨ member along with two others

**miya atsumu**

oop 🤭

**sugawara**

the way i felt the ✨guilt✨ after reading that

👄👁👄

**tsukishima**

tsukishima kei, 1st year

middle blocker, karasuno

**kageyama**

kageyama tobio, first year

karasuno's official setter

**sugawara**

sugawara koushi, 3rd year, karasuno's

mom, vice-captain, setter and pinch server

**kuguri**

i love how he just embraces the mom role 😂

**shirabu**

oh look semi-san, someone you can bond with 🤩

both of you got benched and replaced by your kouhai 💅🏻✨

**sugawara**

is he this disrespectful every single day? 🥶

**semi**

unfortunately 😔

**kenma**

kozume kenma, 2nd year

nekoma's official setter

**akaashi**

^ he's also their brain

nekoma will practically fall apart

if kenma isn't there to come up with a strategy to save their asses

**daishou**

^^ can confirm

tetsu-chan is a dumbass anyway 🤩

**kenma**

✨S H U T T H E F U C K U P✨

COME AT ME YOU SNAKEKAOSIAKDK

**kenma**

istg if kuro takes my phone away one more time

**akaashi**

akaashi keiji, 2nd year

fukurodani's official setter

and bokuto-san's official handler

**sugawara**

i pity you akaashi 😖

**akaashi**

i pity me too

**suna**

suna rintarou, second year from inarizaki

middle blocker and osamu's boyfriend so back OFF hoes 🔪

**miya osamu**

rin i love ya

🥺😩🤧💖❤️🥰😍❤️💖💕💓💗❤️💖💝

**suna**

i love ya too 🥺❤️

**miya atsumu**

DISGUSTING 🤮

**miya osamu**

miya osamu, 2nd year from inarizaki and

unfortunately the twin brother of dis dumb hoe ^^^

**miya atsumu**

uH rUdE—

atsumu, 2nd year at inarizaki

setter and the better looking twin 🥳

**kageyama**

osamu-san do be looking hotter tho 👀

**yahaba**

idk what u look like, but imma just roll with it

so, yes your twin is hotter

**shirabu**

^^

**futakuchi**

^^^

**ennoshita**

^^^^

**miya atsumu**

heart been broke so many time eye—😔

**suna**

stay in yer lane ya thirsty hoes👺

**daishou**

daishou suguru, 3rd year

nohebi's captain and wing spiker

**kuguri**

kuguri naoyasu, first year,

nohebi's future ace

**hiroo**

hiroo koji, 3rd year from nohebi

im a middle blocker

**sakusa**

sakusa kiyoomi, itachiyama,

2nd year and im the ace

**semi**

semi eita, 3rd year

shiratorizawa's pinch server and setter

**shirabu**

*reserve setter

fixed it for you, love 😘

**semi**

*sigh*

**kawanishi**

kawanishi taichi, 2nd year

middle blocker, shiratorizawa

**shirabu**

shirabu kenjirou, 2nd year

shiratorizawa's OFFICIAL setter

**semi**

did you have to do me like dat doe 👀👄👀

**sugawara**

it do be like dat doe 🤧

**kenma**

is it just me or is oikawa suddenly way too quiet?

**semi**

now im starting to get scared

tf is he planning 👹

**oikawa**

IM NOT PLANNING ANYTHING 😕

**kunimi**

he was busy flirting with iwaizumi-san

**yahaba**

he was failing at it btw ^

**semi**

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**oikawa**

MEAN SEMI-CHAN 🙃

**futakuchi**

i just found out we can change our usernames on this app 🤪

_**futakuchi** changed their name to **futacoohie** 👅_

**shirabu**

HELL NAW

_**shirabu** changed **futacoohie** 👅 **'s** name to **bitch**_

**bitch**

i mean, is u wrong tho 😺

everyone change your usernames!!!

**kenma**

no

**oikawa**

NO PARTY POOPERS (ˉεˉ)

**yahaba**

i suggest listening to what he says

bc he's not gonna stop spamming otherwise

**kenma**

fine

_**kenma** changed their name to **apple** **pie**_

_**akaashi** changed their name to **suffering**_

_**sugawara** changed their name to **soft** **mom**_

_**kageyama** changed their name to **i just want some milk**_

_**ennoshita** changed their name to **no shit**_

_**miya atsumu** changed their name to **ha im the older twin**_

_**miya** **osamu** changed their name to **im the mature twin**_

**semi**

i am NOT doing it

**shirabu**

dun worry i gotchu fam (￣ε ￣)

**semi**

KENJIROU DO NOT—

_**shirabu** changed **semi's** name to **seme eitass**_

**everyone in the chat (bc the author was too lazy)**

...

**sakusa**

👁👄👁

**kawanishi**

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

IM TELLING TENDOU-SAN

THIS IS GOLDLAOAKSKALD

**seme eitass**

TAICHI ISTG DO NOT TELL SATORI—

**i just want some milk**

are you okay semi-san? 🥺

**seme eitass**

im fine kageya—

**kawanishi**

LMAO SEMISEMI THE FUCK IS UP WITH UR USER 😂

KENJIROU GOOD JOB I APPROVE 👏

** seme eitass **

丂卄|尺卂乃ㄩ Ҝ乇几ﾌ|尺ㄖㄩ 

Yᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅɪᴇ ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ 🙂

** shirabu **

¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

oH iM So sCaReD 😱 

_**seme eitass** changed **shirabu's** name to **salt shaker**_

**salt shaker**

b̾i̾t̾c̾h̾a̾s̾s̾ h̾o̾e̾

**ha im the older twin**

since the rest of y'all are too lazy

to change your names, imma do it for y'all

**i just want some milk**

y'all

**soft mom**

y'all

**salt shaker**

y'all

**seme eitass**

y'all

**sakusa**

DO NOT

_**ha im the older twin** changed **sakusa’s** name to **omi-kun** 🥰_

**omi-kun 🥰**

no❤️

_**omi-kun** 🥰 changed their name to **sasuke but prettier**_

**oikawa**

wow conceited much 🙄

**sasuke but prettier**

why don't you play dora and go

look for the fucks i give about your opinion ❤️

**i just want some milk**

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**oikawa**

😿 tobio-chan's so mean!

dont laugh at your senpai (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

**salt shaker**

ewwwww tf

_**oikawa** changed their name to **best setter**_

**sasuke but prettier**

wow conceited much 🙄

**best setter**

so original 🙄

**apple pie**

lmao "best setter" 😂

**soft mom**

hunny, call yourself that when you’re

actually going to nationals ❤️💅🏻✨

**yahaba**

and here i thought karasuno’s

team mom was the nice one 😔

**best setter**

the amount of disrespect i get in

this chat is astounding 🤧

_**ha im the older twin** changed **kuguri's** name to **end me**_

_**ha im the older twin** changed **kunimi's** name to **dead inside**_

_**ha im the older twin** changed **suna's** name to **sloth**_

_**salt shaker** changed **kawanishi's** name to **judging u 24/7**_

_**salt shaker** changed **yahaba's** name to **creampuff**_

_**ha im the older twin** changed **hiroo's** name to **osasuna lovechild**_

**end me**

i mean, are you wrong tho 😔

**judging u 24/7**

yes i do judge people 😚💅🏻

**dead inside**

yes, this perfectly sums me up

**best setter**

kunimi-chan are you okay?

do i need to call kindaichi

**i just want some milk**

eww turnip head

**dead inside**

no oikawa-san

shut up kageyama i will literally fuck you up

**i just want some milk**

you two literally gave me ptsd stfu ╭∩╮(ಠ_ಠ)╭∩╮

**soft mom**

👁👄👁

**sloth**

👀 🍵 👀

**ha im the older twin**

DID SOMEONE HURT MY TOBIO-KUN

AIGHT GIVE ME THEIR FULL NAMES, ADDRESS

CONTACT NUMBER AND NECK SIZE

**best setter**

STOP CALLING TOBIO-CHAN YOURS

**i just want some milk**

i mean i dont mind it 👀

**ha im the older twin**

🥰🥰🥰

**best setter**

STOOOOOOOP

.

.

.

_**[** private chat between kunimi and oikawa **]**_

**kunimi**

oikawa-san your jealousy is showing

**oikawa**

I AM NOT JEALOUS

I DONT LIKE TOBIO-CHAN THAT WAY

**kunimi**

hmm, and kindaichi's not a panicked gay ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

.

.

.

**_bitch squad_ **

**_[_ ** _6:56 AM **]**_

**im the mature twin**

wait, why neck size

**ha im the older twin**

so i'd know what type and size of knife i'd use

to decapitate them easier, smh i thought

ya was the smarter twin samu 😔

**daishou**

imma just

*slowly walks out the door*

**end me**

lmao bye hoes 🤸♀️ 🚪

**osasuna lovechild**

okay but why am i osasuna lovechild

and what tf is an osasuna

**suffering**

im guessing it's osamu and suna's ship name

**sloth**

dam rite 🤧🥰

**salt shaker**

ok but hiroo-san is literally a third year

how is he the lovechild

**tsukishima**

^ i hate to agree with the walking salt deposit

but yes, why tho?

**judging u 24/7**

LMFAO WALKING SALT DEPOSIT

_**salt** **shaker** changed **tsukishima's** name to **bitchass** **lamppost**_

**bitchass lamppost**

well okay then (‧_‧)

**seme eitass**

we're getting off topic

**creampuff**

there was a topic?

**no shit**

^ me in class be like

**ha im the older twin**

_hirookoji.jpeg_

LOOK ^^^

HE LOOKS JUST LIKE SAMU

BUT WITH A DIFFERENT HAIRCUT

**judging u 24/7**

but you're literally his twin—

YOU LITERALLY ARE OSAMU WITH

DIFFERENT HAIR ⊙︿⊙

**ha im the older twin**

not important 😤

**end me**

i—

**ha im the older twin**

anyways, where was i? oh ok *deep breaths*

THEY BOTH HAVE THE SAME

"IM SO DONE WITH THIS SHIT" FACE

AND SINCE SAMU AND SUNARIN ARE PRACTICALLY

MARRIED, HE IS THEIR CHILD

I REST MY CASE YER HONOR

**i just want some milk**

yer honor

**end me**

wait

**daishou**

➖👄➖ 

👁👄👁

**end me**

hiroo-san

you do look alike lol

**osasuna lovechild**

ig we do?

**bitch**

wait i don't even know what

these osamu and suna guys look like

**i just want some milk**

_superhot_osamu_miya.jpeg_

osamu-san ^

**bitch**

ooohhhh hello (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**im the mature twin**

mom pick me up im fucking scared

**creampuff**

🥵

**soft** **mom**

i know i said im loyal to daichi but 😻

**best** **setter**

i mean i love iwa-chan and all

but 🥵🤤😻😽

**no shit**

👀👅👀

**salt shaker**

yep, im still gay

**sloth**

again, im suna aka miya osamu's BOYFRIEND

so ✨ BACK THE FUCK UP ✨

**bitchass lamppost**

possessive much 😂

**dead inside**

says the guy who almost throttled

kindaichi to the ground when he accidentally saw your

wallpaper and called your boyfriend daddy material

**sasuke but prettier**

👀

**creampuff**

LMAO

**bitchass lamppost**

tangina mo, kunimi ❤️

**soft mom**

TSUKISHIMA KEI

**i just want some milk**

lmao saltysaurus actually got himself a bf?

**apple pie**

TSUKKI I KNEW YOU WERE POSSESSIVE OVER ME 😻

**bitchass lamppost**

KUROO-SAN WHY THE FUCK

ARE YOU ON KENMA-SAN'S PHONE

...AGAIN?!

**apple pie**

kenma's busy playing animal crossing rn

**daishou**

WAIT

TETSU-CHAN IS YOUR BOYFRIEND?!

LMAO HOW TF DID TETSU-CHAN

EVEN GET YOU TO SAY YES

DID HE BEG? I BET HE BEGGED😂

**bitchass lamppost**

for your fucking information you fucking snake

i was the one who confessed first, and kuroo-san is an

amazing person so dont you fucking dare talk

about him like he's some piece of irrelevant,

unwanted trash, yes, i love him and yes

im possessive over him so stfu and crawl back

to your mika-chan and get your snake ass dumped again

**best setter**

😦

**sloth**

🤭

**suffering**

🤠

**apple pie**

KEI 😍🥰😤😫😩🥵🤤😻😽🙀😺😘😔🥺😭😚😳

**bitchass lamppost**

...

_**ha im the older twin** changed **daishou's** name to **sneky hiss hiss**_

**osasuna lovechild**

LMAO YOU STILL ALIVE SUGURU

**seme eitass**

that was...wow ⊙_☉

**salt shaker**

and that's on tsundere boyfriends

being ✨protective✨

**sloth**

😩😤🤧

**no shit**

periodt 💅🏻

**dead inside**

well okay then 😃

**sneky hiss hiss**

good morning everyone

this is daishou suguru and

i have been put in my place 🤠

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i just milk the last of my braincells typing this shit? yes, yes i did. idk how to add pics here, so y’all just gonna have to imagine everything 😔😭
> 
> i not funny and it shows 🤠 lol see you next time bc the author lost her last braincell and needs to look for it 😔


	5. it does not exist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atsumu knocks out his twin. Suna and Ennoshita regret ever staying in this gc.

_**bitch squad** _

_**[** 2:14 AM **]**_

**ha im the older twin**

tfw ya hit yer sibling so hard and they dont get up 😬

**sloth**

WHAT KINDA STUPID ASS

FIGHT DID YA TWO GET INTO NOW

**soft mom**

does the concept of sleep

not apply to you people?

**apple pie**

lol what's sleep

**sloth**

i am jared, 19

**salt shaker**

sleep? is that edible?

**end me**

sleep is a concept i do not understand

**suffering**

i only run on coffee and the burning hate

i have for my enemies. sleep is for the weak.

**bitchass lamppost**

sleep is a word that

does not exist in my vocabulary

**judging u 24/7**

lol ✨just insomniac tingz✨

**dead inside**

im already dead inside

sleep does not matter in the afterlife

**soft mom**

i—

are you guys okay? 🥶

**apple pie**

peachy🤩

**ha im the older twin**

so uhhh...👉👈

**sloth**

WHAT. KINDA. SHIT. DID. Y'ALL.

GET. UP. TO. NOW. MIYA. ATSUMU.

**ha im the older twin**

so like i had a nightmare...

**sasuke but prettier**

idk why you think we care

but go on 🤨

**ha im the older twin**

OMI-KUN 😿

**sloth**

atsumu. 🙂

**ha im the older twin**

okay okay 😅

so like i said i had a nightmare and so

i went to samu's room bc i ain't

goin back to sleep alone and i need cuddles

**end me**

pussy ass bitch 🤗

**ha im the older twin**

stfu yer irrelevant atm

but then samu woke up and kicked me off the bed

AND THAT SHIT HURTED YA KNOW

**salt shaker**

LMAO 🤩

**ha im the older twin**

shut yo bitchass up shirabuttplug

**judging u 24/7**

LOL THAT'S GONNA BE YOUR NEW

CONTACT NAME BRB

**suffering**

just finish what you wanted

to fucking say atsumu

**ha im the older twin**

okay so i got mad bc ya know samu's a bitch

and i hit him with a pillow and then proceeded to

kick him off his own bed and now he's passed out

on the floor and i think i might've given him

a concussion...🥺👉👈 suna help me...

**sloth**

BOI!!!

YA BETTER PRAY SAMU'S OKAY

BC IF HE'S NOT IM TELLING KITA-SAN

**ha im the older twin**

SUNARIN IM BEGGIN YA DONT

TELL KITA-SAN I'LL DO ANYTHING 😩🙏

**sloth**

anything? 👀

**ha im the older twin**

wait—

shit.

**sloth**

because im kinda low on blackmail

material right now 🤔

**sasuke but prettier**

it was at this moment

**bitchass lamppost**

that miya atsumu knew

**salt shaker**

he ✨fucked up✨

**dead inside**

lol now im kinda glad my depression

keeps me up at night

**soft mom**

kunimi, honey, you and i are gonna

have a long talk about this later 🥰

**dead inside**

YOU'RE NOT MY MOM

**soft mom**

🙂

**dead inside**

...yes ma'am...

**judging u 24/7**

the power that karasuno's

team mom holds 🤯

_**bitch squad** _

_**[** 6:12 AM **]**_

**bitch**

damn it i missed

some good shit this morning 😩

**im the mature twin**

i literally got knocked out tf ya mean good shit 😑

**ha im the older twin**

that’s cuz yer a pussy samu 🤪

**im the mature twin**

says the bitch who keeps ranting to the team about how HE

”REALLY WANTS OMI OMI TO RAIL HIM SENSELESS” 🥶

**sasuke but prettier**

➖3➖

i do not see 🐵🙈🙉🙊

**suffering**

it wasnt that entertaining

but im not surprised by your low standards

**i just want some milk**

OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH 🤨🤨🤨🤨

WHATS THIS!!!!!!!!!!!?????????? A GC!!!!!!!??????

**ha im the older twin**

uhhh tobio-kun?

**i just want some milk**

WHO TF R U ADN WHY R U CALLING

YAMAYAMA “TOBIO-KUN” HUH??!! WANNA FITE??????

**suffering**

wtf

**salt shaker**

the fuck is wrong with kageyama

**soft mom**

hinata why are you on

kageyama’s phone?

**i just want some milk**

WHO R U AND HOW DO YOU KNWO

MYMANE!!!!!?????? ARE U SOEM KIND

OF PHYSICS HUH????!!!!!

**bitchass lamppost**

*know *my name *some *psychic

the way im embarrassed for your stupidity 🙄

literally who tf would confuse psychic for physics 🙄

**i just want some milk**

WTF WHY IS STINGYSHIMA ON THIS GC

**soft mom**

he recognizes tsukishima but not me

aight i see how it is 😒

**i just want some milk**

...SUGA-SAN?????? IS THAT YOU

OH MY ASAHI IM SO SORRY 🥺

**best setter**

CHIBI-CHAN (っ◕‿◕)っ

**i just want some milk**

OOOOOOHHHHHH ITS THE GRAND KING 😯

**bitch**

...uhhh tf is happening ≧=ʘ‿ʘ=≦

**sneky hiss hiss**

okay am i the only one

whos kunfused asf rn

**osasuna lovechild**

nope

**im the mature twin**

^

**seme eitass**

^^

**sasuke but prettier**

same

**i just want some milk**

WHO TF IS SASUKE LMAO

**sasuke but prettier**

i will not hesitate to throttle your ass

**ha im the older twin**

i mean, you can throttle my ass anytime omi-omi ;)

**im the mature twin**

how do i delete my twin

how to disown yer twin

is it illegal to feed yer twin onigiri filled with bleach

oh shit this aint google 😱

**ha im the older twin**

SAMU YA DEFINITELY DID THAT ON OURPISE ಥ_ಥ

**creampuff**

*purpose

and now i remember why i keep you guys on mute

**sloth**

^

**apple pie**

^^

**i just want some milk**

KENMA!!!!!!!!!!!

**apple pie**

kageyama are you alright?

**i just want some milk**

YAMAYAMA IS TAKING A BATH RIGHT NOW

ITS ME!!! HINATA!!!

**apple pie**

oh

hi shoyo :)

**bitch**

OH NOW I REMEMBER YOU

KARASUNO’S #10

**i just want some milk**

YEP YEP!! 🤩 im guessing bitch is dateko’s new captain? (っ◔◡◔)っ

**bitch**

yep

and nobu wants to say hi

**salt shaker**

awwwwe coochie calls his boyfie nobu └(^o^)┘

**bitch**

stfu (┛`д´)┛

**i just want some milk**

OOOOOOOHHHHHHH

**bitch**

👋

**i just want some milk**

HI AONE!!!!! (◕◞౪◟◕)

HOW ARE YOU TODAY?????!!!!!!

**salt shaker**

the caps + exclamation points

are really hurting my eyes

**seme eitass**

^

**sneky hiss hiss**

^^

**bitch**

😩😭🥺

**i just want some milk**

OH NO 🥺 WHY ARE YOU SAD

**bitch**

👿🦶🏼🐈❌💔😭

**bitchass lamppost**

wtf

**osasuna lovechild**

wtf (2)

**end me**

i just came on and this is the shit

i see first 🙄

**best setter**

😱 HE DID NOT!!! TELL ME HE DID

NOT DO THAT!!! 😰😤🥺😫😭

**soft mom**

uhhhh teh fook ●▽●

**suffering**

wtf

**bitch**

😣

**i just want some milk**

FUTAKUCHI-SAN HOW COULD YOU???!!! 😡😫😭

**bitch**

IN MY DEFENSE THE LITTLE SHIT WAS IN MU WAY ( •̀д•́)

**end me**

WHAT THE FUCK

**apple pie**

shoyo what are you guys even talking about

**i just want some milk**

???????!!!!!!!!! AONE-SAN JUST SQID IT???!!!

**bitchass lamppost**

*said

and we don’t understand tf you guys are

talking about

**creampuff**

not all of us are like you two and futakuchi

we cant understand aone for shit...no offense aone ᵔ.ᵔ

**bitch**

he says “none taken”

**no shit**

futacoochie accidentally stepped on

aone’s cat and didnt apologize

and now aone’s sad about it

**creampuff**

how in the fuck did you understand that

**no shit**

🙊

**sloth**

if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist if i mute this chat it doest exist

[ cut for length ]

**judging u 24/7**

i dont open the chat for literally just

a few hours and this is what happens

**dead inside**

i take a fucking nap to forget about how

worthless my life is and this is the shit

i come back to

**i just want some milk**

what teh fuck

ISTG IM GONNA KILL THAT DUMBASS

**soft mom**

kageyama

**i just want some milk**

?

**ha im the older twin**

tobio-kunnnnnnnnn 🥺

**i just want some milk**

??

**best setter**

tobio-chan (つ .•́ _ʖ •̀.)つ

**i just want some milk**

???

**salt shaker**

why was the shrimp on your phone

**judging u 24/7**

and why is he at your house at this time

**seme eitass**

why are you guys acting like jealous

boyfriends smh 🤦🏻🐸

**i just want some milk**

the first years had a sleepover

**bitchass lamppost**

tbh one of the best ive ever had

lmao last night was fun 10/10 would do it again 🤩

**i just want some milk**

im glad our humiliation brought

you immense joy tsukishima :)

**judging u 24/7**

lmao what happened

**bitchass lamppost**

like hell we’re telling 👹

**i just want some milk**

🤐🤐🤐

**soft mom**

➖👄➖

👁👄👁

d-did i just read that right??

TSUKISHIMA SAID HE HAD FUN??! TF KINDA SORCERY IS THIS

HINATA GIVE TSUKISHIMA HIS PHONE BACK 🤠

**bitchass lamppost**

sugawara-san it really is me

what? i cant be ooc for a second? 🙄

**i just want some milk**

bc assholes cant be ooc 😚

**bitchass lamppost**

aight i see how it is 🤪

**i just want some milk**

TSUKISHIMA DO NOT—

**ha im the older twin**

SAMU YA SEE THIS SHIT

WHY DOES HE GET A KISS FROM TOBIO-KUN

**im the older twin**

🙈🙈🙈

**bitchass lamppost**

kageyama confessed to us about these

two guys he’s crushing on and how

badly he wants to be in a relationship with them

and literally cried himself to sleep about it :)

**i just want some milk**

TSUKISHIMA CONFESSED HE LOST

HIS VIRGINITY TO KUROO DURING

THE TRAINING CAMP WITH THE FUKURODANI GROUP

AND HE EVEN HAD A FOURSOME

WITH BOKUTO-SAN AND AKAASHI-SAN

**bitchass lamppost**

YOU BITCH IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU

**suffering**

KAGEYAMA YOU LITTLE SHIT

**i just want some milk**

CATCH ME FIRST YOU LANKY ASS HOE

**soft mom**

a foursome...😫my baby...had a foursome...😦

with kuroo🤢...and akaashi...and bokuto...🤠

my...sweet sweet tsukki😇...devirginized by two idiots 🙂

at least akaashi was there but...my baby crow...😭

**best setter**

A SLEEPOVER?!! NOOOOOO MY PRECIOUS

TOBIO-CHAN HAS BEEN CORRUPTED 😭😭😭

**osasuna lovechild**

“my”

and oh shit suga’s broken

**sneky hiss hiss**

“my”

someone call his bf or smth

**best setter**

HE SPENT AN ENTIRE NIGHT WITH GLASSES-CHAN

WHAT IF MY SWEET AND LOVELY

TOBIO-CHAN SUDDENLY

BECOMES JUST AS SALTY AS HIM 😱😱😱

**dead inside**

“my”

suga-san are you okay?

**ha im the older twin**

last time i checked, tobio-kun isnt yers :)

**best setter**

well he isnt yours either :)

**soft mom**

and he doesnt belong to either of you :)

stay the fuck away from my child :)

im fine kunimi :)

**apple pie**

yep he’s definitely broken

**soft mom**

iM FiNE

**judging u 24/7**

oh yeah, kunimi don’t you have to

talk to karasuno’s mom about something 🤭

**soft mom**

oh! thanks for reminding me kawanishi ☺️

im heading for seijoh right now

**best setter**

NOW NOW WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO TALK

TO MY KOUHAI HUH MR. REFRESHING??!

**soft mom**

iwaizumi gave me his permission bc apparently

he has his hands full with you that he can’t talk

to his kouhai that much 😒

btw im already on my way kunimi

and dont even THINK of running away :)

**dead inside**

fuck

**bitch**

...wait i thought oikawa

had a massive gay crush on his ace

**creampuff**

oh he does

but he also has this massive gay crush

on kageyama that he’s hellbent on

denying with his entire being

**i just want some milk**

...

**bitchass lamppost**

LMAO HOLY SHIT THE KING’S

FUCKING BLUSHING

**sloth**

TAKE A FUCKING PICTURE TAKE IT TAKE IT

**bitchass lamppost**

DONE AND DONE

**salt shaker**

send it.

sloth

^

**bitchass lamppost**

and why tf would i 😒

**im the mature twin**

tsumu’s also blushing bc he’s thinking of

kageyama blushing

**sasuke but prettier**

i fucking hate this chat

**sloth**

awweee is omi-omi jealous

that atsumu’s thinking about someone else

that isnt him 🥺🥺🥺

_**sasuke but prettier** has removed **sloth** from the chat._

**sasuke but prettier**

does anyone else want to

fucking go 🤩

**everyone else but osamu (bc the author’s too lazy at this point)**

no sir 😔

_**im the mature twin** has added **suna** to the chat._

_**suna** changed their name to **sloth**._

**sloth**

thot ya could get rid of me that easily huh did ya?!

well surprise motherfucka

👁👃🏼👁

👅

**no shit**

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[ cut for length ]

**ha im the older twin**

ok but like, do y’all have a picture

of tobio-kun sleeping 🙊 i need it for science

**bitchass lamppost**

hmmm i’ll send it to you for 10,000 yen

**ha im the older twin**

DEAL

**soft mom**

WHAT THE FUCK

**bitchass lamppost**

gotta get dat bread 🤪

**salt shaker**

how about that one with him blushing?

i need more blackmail material ☺️👉👈

**sloth**

^

**creampuff**

i would also like that picture of blushing kageyama 🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️

**no shit**

^

**end me**

^^

**osasuna lovechild**

^^^

**sneky hiss hiss**

wtf

**osasuna lovechild**

i mean—he kinda cute tho 😔 👉👈

**end me**

^

**sneky hiss hiss**

and how would you know?

**bitch**

there’s this wonderful thing

called the internet 😃 you should try it sometime

**sneky hiss hiss**

...

ok i open fb, i type kageyama tobio,

i see kageyama tobio, i click

and now i would also like the pic 👀

**seme eitass**

just say you’re all whipped for kageyama and go 🙄

**judging u 24/7**

^^^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if it wasn’t obvious, i love kageyama tobio a little too much BUT I SWEAR IM LOYAL TO WAKATOSHI—
> 
> but like!!! a kageyama harem doesn’t sound too bad...hahahaha jk...unless 🤔


	6. the forgottens

_**no shit** added **k no shit** , **naruto** , **neko** **shitty boi** , **bobaba** , **futamatte** , and **3 others** into the chat._

_**no shit** named the chat ' **the forgottens** '_

_**the forgottens** _

_**[** 8:45 AM **]** \- **but like on the same day as the previous chapter 👀**_

**no shit**

welcum to the forgottens! 👾

a group chat for all the forgotten members

who are often overlooked and labeled 

as side side side characters bc even the 

side characters had more screentime and fanfics than us 😔

LITERALLY JOHZENJI ONLY APPEARED FOR TWO EPISODES

BUT TERUSHIMA HAD HUNDREDS SIMPING FOR HIM AND

WRITING FANFICS WITH HIM AS THE FUCKING MC

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IM LITERALLY LABELED

AS THE SIDE CHARACTER WITH A BACKGROUND STORY 🥶😾

**bobaba**

at least you have a bg story 😔

**futamatte**

^

**naruto**

enno you need to ✨c H i l L✨

**k no shit**

ice cream chillin' chillin'

iCE cReAm cHiLLiN'

**shitty boi**

ICE CREAM YOU SCREAM

GIMME DAT GIMME DAT ICE CREAM

**naruto**

chile ✋

**jack of all trades**

hello my fellow forgottens 😔

how we doin today

**komi cutie**

oh you know

same as usual

**saru saru**

we keep getting

✨forgotten✨

**k no shit**

*le gasp*

tHE pLOt TwiSt

**naruto**

ikr 😭

**neko shitty boi**

can i add some more people?

**naruto**

we probably wont know them but sure 🤩

_**neko shitty boi** has added **babie yuuki** , and **shohoe** to the chat._

**babie yuuki**

hello! what's this? 😯

**no shit**

OMFG I CAN FEEL THE ✨PURITY✨

**neko shitty boi**

IFKR 🤧

**shohoe**

?

**shitty boi**

FUKUNAGA 🥰

**shohoe**

...tora 👋

hello shibayama

**babie yuuki**

hello taketora-san, fukunaga-san 😊

hello to everyone else too! ☺️

**futamatte**

HES SO CUTE (⊃^o^)⊃

**bobaba**

IKR HEY DO YOU THINK IF WE TELL YUUJI

ABOUT THIS HE'D HELP US ADOPT A KIDヾ(｀・ω・´)ノ

**futamatte**

OMFG YOUR BRAIN 🤯

**naruto**

...

so whos gonna tell them they arent

legal yet to purchase a child 😬

**shohoe**

what

**naruto**

*adopt

autocorrect amirite he he he he 🥶

**babie yuuki**

ooohhhhh i hate it when the autocorrect

kicks in and just literally changes the words i say 😖

**k no shit**

IM CRYINGSJAJSKS

HES SO FUCKING PURE I CANTJAKJAKAS

**jack of all trades**

I AM ADOPTING HIM GOODBYE

**no shit**

NO I WANNA ADOPT HIM 😡

**jack of all trades**

i mean—

we could always have joint custody 🤓👉👈

**no shit**

oh 👀

**komi cutie**

get this shit off this chat

**saru saru**

go flirt in private message not here

**k no shit**

LMAO GO GET THAT CHILD AND

GET THE FREE DICK DOWN

WHILE YOU'RE AT IT BEST FRIEND 🥵👏👏👏

**no shit**

you know it best friend 🥵🥵

**jack of all trades**

ohohoho??? 👀👀👀

**no shit**

😘😳🥵😜😏

.

.

.

**[** private chat between komi and konoha **]**

**konoha**

shit bro i think im in love 😫😍

**komi**

A GUY FLIRTS BACK LITERALLY

JUST FUCKING ONCE—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, but i lowkey ship enno and konoha 😔 but then again ennofuta is a thing too 👉👈 but then im a sucker for aofuta then there's konoha and semi and then there's teru with enno and/or futa and then there's ennotana and then—


	7. proposition

**_bitch squad_ **

**_[_ ** _2:03 AM_ **_]_ **

**im the mature twin**

unpopular opinion:

tsumu is head over heels in

love with kageyama and sakusa

**sloth**

yuh❤️

**best setter**

STAY AWAY FROM MY

TOBIO-CHAN 😡

**salt shaker**

"my"

**bitchass lamppost**

"my"

**seme eitass**

"my"

**ha im the older twin**

YER TOBIO?!

ALSO SAMU WTF

**im the mature twin**

but did ya deny it tho 👀

**sasuke but prettier**

ew

**ha im the older twin**

OMI 😫

**best setter**

HE WAS MY KOUHAI FIRST

**soft mom**

not anymore bitch 🤡

also do you people ever not sleep?

and don't even think about

replying kunimi >.> is see you typing

**dead inside**

.

**end me**

i can't sleep bc i caught daishou-san

making out with hiroo-san in the club room

earlier and it scarred me for life

**ha im the older twin**

oh 👀 🍵

**sneky hiss hiss**

KUGURI NAOYASU

**im the mature twin**

but did ya deny it tho 👀

**judging u 24/7**

🍵🍵🍵

**bitch**

I SHIP 🛳

**osasuna lovechild**

i—🥶🥶

okay so maybe we did fool around a bit

**end me**

"a bit" 🤓

sure jan

**sneky hiss hiss**

KUGURI NAOYASU

**end me**

yes that is my name

**ha im the older twin**

so how far did you two go 👀

**sneky hiss hiss**

no comment

**osasuna lovechild**

^

**end me**

hiroo-san had his tongue shoved so far

down daishou-san's throat i thought i

needed to call 911 for second bc swear

daishou-san did not breathe AT ALL 😫

**osasuna lovechild**

OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH

**end me**

hiroo-san also had his hand down daishou-san's

shorts, and you would not believe the amount

of hickeys hiroo-san left on daishou-san, i legit thot

they were bruises for a second 😫

**sneky hiss hiss**

that's it 🙂.

kuguri, im gonna make your username come true.

i. will. end. you. the. moment. you. step. foot. in. school.

**end me**

bitch acting like skipping school

isn't an option 🙄💅🏻

**sasuke but prettier**

if i douse my phone in bleach

will this chat disappear?

**bitch**

what's douse? is that food?

**judging u 24/7**

DUMB HOE

**bitchass lamppost**

i legit heard that sentence

**salt shaker**

same

**bitchass lamppost**

eww wtf did you just agree with me 😣

**salt shaker**

wait—

EWWWWW 🤮

**seme eitass**

will you two grow up 🙄

**bitchass lamppost**

in shirabu’s case: literally

**salt shaker**

i will end you

show some fucking respect you shit

**i just want some milk**

why is everyone still awake?

**ha im the older twin**

TOBIO-KUN 🥰

**best setter**

TOBIO-CHAN 😍

**i just want some milk**

...hi?

**soft mom**

he's so pure 😭

why tf did you add kageyama

he's an innocent babie

**dead inside**

"innocent" lol

best joke i've heard all morning 🤠

other than kageyama being oikawa-san's ofc

**best setter**

MEAN KUNIMI-CHAN 😖

also, mr. refreshing, honey—

**soft mom**

don't "honey" me you piece

of shit on the bottom of my ugliest

pair of crocs you ain't special stfu greasy ass mf

**best setter**

i—😭

the disrespekt is real in this house 😔

**ha im the older twin**

HAHAHAHAHAHA

**best setter**

SHUT UP YOU SANGWOO LOOKING ASS

WITH MUSTARD PISS COLORED HAIR

**ha im the older twin**

that joke/insult is so fucking old

please look for a new one, sis 🙄💅🏻

**best setter**

whatever 🙄

where was i, again? oh yeah!

mr. refreshing, suga-chan, koushi dearest, suga momma

**soft mom**

🔪 🩸 die bitch

**best setter**

tobio-chan is FAR FAR from innocent ◝(⁰▿⁰)◜

**i just want some milk**

...😬

**dead inside**

yes, suga-san i can confirm

**soft mom**

W H A T 🤠

lemme just take my cowboy hat off for a sec

so i can read that shit better 😃

**seme eitass**

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BABY 😧

**ha im the older twin**

SOME HOE TOOK MY TOBIO-KUN'S

INNOCENCE?! 😡

**dead inside**

unfortunately, oikawa-san tainted

the baby when we were in middle school 😔

**best setter**

i—sis (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

I DID NOT KUNIMI-CHANOASHIAJDWJHD

**soft mom**

oikawa 🤠

**ha im the older twin**

tooru 🤡

**seme eitass**

you're 😤

**sneky hiss hiss**

fucking 🤬

**bitch**

dead 🔪

**salt shaker**

lmao 😊

**bitchass lamppost**

it wasn't a pleasure

knowing you ✌️

**sloth**

im liking this gc more and more

every single day 😂

**im the mature twin**

rin, no ❤️

_**bitch squad** _

_**[** 6:55 AM **]**_

**apple pie**

and this is why i keep you people on mute

**creampuff**

^

**no shit**

^^

**suffering**

^^^

**apple pie**

also, rip oikawa-san ✌️

**suffering**

i am on a train going to miyagi

lol you better hide oikawa tooru 🔪

**creampuff**

i will make sure he's ready for you akaashi 😃

**no shit**

lol im on a bus heading to seijoh rfn

idgaf about morning practice

oikawa when i see you it's on sight

**best setter**

😭

**_[_ ** _the next day brought to you by atsumu’s laugh_ **_]_ **

_**bitch squad** _

_**[** 1:24 AM **]**_

**ha im the older twin**

y'allsters i have a proposition!

**judging u 24/7**

y'allsters

**bitchass lamppost**

y'allsters

**best setter**

y'allsters

**sloth**

i donut know ya

**im the mature twin**

im disowning ya for real this time ❣︎

**soft mom**

it's one in the fucking morning

**salt shaker**

and yet ur just as

awake as the rest of us (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞

**soft mom**

not important

**end me**

but—

**soft mom**

not. important. 🙂

**end me**

yes ma'am 😔

**sneky hiss hiss**

can i just say, i think im

in love with karasuno's mother

**soft mom**

😘

**sneky hiss hiss**

SJOSJSKAKJSKA

**osasuna lovechild**

...

**judging u 24/7**

oh 👀

**apple pie**

👀

👃🏼

👄

**suffering**

kenma wtf

**ha im the older twin**

BITCHES MY PROPOSITION!!!

**i just want some milk**

i just wanna sleep 😴

can y'allsters pls stop spamming my phone

**ha im the older twin**

didja have to do me like that tobio-kun 😔

**i just want some milk**

🙄 *sigh*

here have a heart, atsumu-san ❤️

**ha im the older twin**

AAAAHHSJANJANAKSK

**best setter**

NO FAIR WHY DOES HE GET A HEART

FROM TOBIO-CHAN?! (つ .•́ _ʖ •̀.)つ

**bitchass lamppost**

bitch why you acting like it’s hard to get one from him?

all you have to ask is: kageyama can i have one too?

**i just want some milk**

❤️

** bitchass lamppost  **

see? (ˉεˉ)

**end me**

me too? 🥺

**i just want some milk**

ofc 🥺❤️

**salt shaker**

🙋🏻

**seme eitass**

🙋🏻

**osasuna lovechild**

🙋🏻

**soft mom**

🙋🏻

**sneky hiss hiss**

🙋🏻

**suffering**

🙋🏻

**apple pie**

🙋🏻

**sloth**

🙋🏻

**im the mature twin**

🙋🏻

**no shit**

🙋🏻

**bitch**

🙋🏻

**dead inside**

🙋🏻🥺🥺🥺

**sasuke but prettier**

🙋🏻

**i just want some milk**

ofc you guys get hearts too 🥺

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

**creampuff**

me too? 🥺👉👈

**i just want some milk**

ofc ❤️❤️❤️

**best setter**

HOW ABOUT ME TOBIO-CHAN 🥺

**i just want some milk**

[ user i just want some milk is offline please do not message ✿◕ ‿ ◕✿ ]

**best setter**

rUDE tobio-chan 😞

**dead inside**

im sorry but i cackled

**soft mom**

haha whoops (ﾉ>ω<)ﾉ

**ha im the older twin**

BTW HOES MY PROPOSITION

**no shit**

what is it

**bitch**

?????

**osasuna lovechild**

let's get this over with

**ha im the older twin**

OK SO Y'ALL KNOW THAT

EVERYONE IN THIS CHAT IS

✨ WHIPPED ✨ FOR TOBIO-KUN

**bitchass lamppost**

i disagree

**best setter**

same

**seme eitass**

OIKAWA YOU LITERALLY FIGHT

WITH ATSUMU EVERY SINGLE DAY

OVER KAGEYAMA WHY TF U LYING

**creampuff**

^^^

**dead inside**

and tsukishima, you almost

killed kindaichi during training camp

when you heard him talking shit about

kageyama why tf u also lying

**i just want some milk**

i knew you loved me tsukki 🥰

**bitchass lamppost**

...stfu 🤩

**ha im the older twin**

i suddenly have this urge to

murder a bitchass lamppost

**bitchass lamppost**

stay the fuck away satan ✝️

**salt shaker**

you're not even religious wtf

**seme eitass**

pls just fucking continue astumu

**ha im the older twin**

DRUMROLLS PLEASE

**apple pie**

no ❤️

**sasuke but prettier**

no ❤️

**suffering**

no ❤️

**ha im the older twin**

y'all no fun 😔

**sloth**

atsumu :)

**ha im the older twin**

I PROPOSE THAT WE BECOME

A KAGEYAMA HAREM

**dead inside**

ok where the fuck do i sign up

**i just want some milk**

wait—

**soft mom**

im in

**basically everyone except oikawa bc i was too lazy**

SIGN ME TF UP

**best setter**

nope i dont like tobio-chan 😤

**bitchass lamppost**

if i signed up ur signing up 😑

**best setter**

i am not!!

**sneky hiss hiss**

i don't understand why you would say no

to a cutie like kageyama 😍

oikawa you need to get your eyes checked or smth

**osasuna lovechild**

...

**sneky hiss hiss**

what's with the dots? u okay koji?

**osasuna lovechild**

im fine

im gonna go to sleep now guys 🤗

**sneky hiss hiss**

...okay?

**apple pie**

hmmm

**soft mom**

👀

**bitch**

hUh 🤔

**sneky hiss hiss**

what?

**no shit**

dis dumb hoe ( •̀д•́)

**suffering**

😭 so stupid

**sneky hiss hiss**

tf

**ha im the older twin**

OKAY SO EVERYONE EXCEPT OIKAWA

IS IN TOBIO-KUN'S HAREM

**creampuff**

NO NO NO NO OIKAWA-SAN IS IN

**best setter**

AM NOT

**apple pie**

are too

**best setter**

AM NOT

**suffering**

are too

**best setter**

AM NOT

**no shit**

ARE TOO

**best setter**

AM NOT

**end me**

are too

**best setter**

AM NOT

**seme eitass**

ARE TOO 🥱

**best setter**

AM NOT

**bitch**

AM NOT

**best setter**

ARE TOO

wait—

**im the mature twin**

_ wheezing.jpeg _

**best setter**

...futakuchi u bitch

**bitch**

🤪🥳😘😛😎

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what i wrote 😔


	8. kuguri has a crush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuguri has a crush and Ennoshita has a daddy. Welcome to the daily chaos of the bitch squad. 🤩

_**bitch squad** _

_**[** 2:12 AM **]**_

**osasuna lovechild**

ive had it with this user 😤

_**osasuna lovechild** changed their name to **tired snek**_

_**tired snek** changed **end me** 's name to **baby snek**_

**baby snek**

🖕🖕🖕

**best setter**

AWWWEEEEE IT'S A SNEK FAMILY 🥰🥰🥳

**sneky hiss hiss**

no❤️

**tired snek**

...

**soft mom**

why y'all still awake

**dead inside**

why are YA still awake

**i just want some milk**

why is y'all turning into miya-san?

**suffering**

y'all 🙊

**apple pie**

y'all 🤩

**judging u 24/7**

y'allsters 😎

**ha im the older twin**

-.-

_**tired snek** changed **ha im the older twin's** name to **atsuwu**_

_**tired snek** changed **im the mature twin's** name to **owomoo**_

**owomoo**

_ tangina.mo.jpeg _

**atsuwu**

😳

**owomoo**

why does tsumu's nickname look cute

mine looks plain ✨ disgustang ✨

**atsuwu**

bc im the better twin 🙄

**tired snek**

yuh 😘

**atsuwu**

oh 👀

**sasuke but prettier**

do you people ever not sleep on time

**salt shaker**

says the guy who's awake at 2 am 😀

**sasuke but prettier**

🤓

**bitchass lamppost**

is daishou-san online?

**sneky hiss hiss**

tf u want

**bitchass lamppost**

kuroo-san wants me to tell you to tell your first year

emo wannabe to stay away from nekoma's first year

baby libero “or else” 🙄

**sloth**

W

T

F

😃 is going on?

**sneky hiss hiss**

1\. kuguri is literally in this gc 🙂

2\. tell that mangy cat to mind his goddamn business 🤩

3\. my child can be with whoever he wants even if it's someone from nekoma 🤢

4\. nekoma's first year libero is a babie i will not hesitate to adopt him 🥰

**no shit**

too late bitch 🤪🤩🤗

that hottie from fukurodani and i already claimed him 😈

**suffering**

if you're talking about konoha-san then i think

you're mistaken. he's not hot. at all.

**no shit**

slander my daddy again

and you won't live to see tomorrow akaashi 😡

**bitch**

your what 🤠

**no shit**

did i fucking stutter bitch

**bitch**

no daddy, sorry daddy 😔

**soft mom**

ALL OF YOU CHILDREN NEED JESUS

WTF ENNOSHITA I THOUGHT YOU WERE

THE RESPONSIBLE CHILD

**no shit**

surprise motherfucka 🥴

**seme eitass**

is he fucking drunk?

**salt shaker**

i think he is 😬

**no shit**

im not drunk ya whores 😒

**atsuwu**

JAKJSKJAOJQNSKSKA

**apple pie**

is everyone awake?

**creampuff**

i guess so

**salt shaker**

ewwww go back to whatever hole you came from 🤮

**creampuff**

DO YOU WANNA FIGHT (ง'̀-'́)ง

**salt shaker**

try me you filthy whore

**sloth**

is this how miyagi boys flirt

**owomoo**

^

**bitch**

nah it’s just those two

**creampuff**

🤮🤮🤮

**salt shaker**

WE ARE NOT FLIRTING

DO YOU WANT ME TO BEAT YOU UP HUH FUTACOOCHIE 🤩🖕🤬

**bitch**

SIS I—

**seme eitass**

shirabu, stop looking for fights

**sakt shaker**

YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME 😤😤

**seme eitass**

shirabu kenjirou.

**salt shaker**

...fine 😒

**creampuff**

pffft. fucking bottom 😹

**seme eitass**

you too yahaba shigeru.

**creampuff**

yes daddy 😳

**best setter**

sis wait—

DID SEMI EITA JUST SCOLD MY KOUHAI?!

**seme eitass**

oikawa tooru pls shut the fuck up 🤩

**best setter**

😳 yes papi

**soft mom**

TF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE

**dead inside**

the way i took these screenshots ☺️

**salt shaker**

the way youre gonna delete them 😚

**dead inside**

the way i think the fuck not 🤩

**creampuff**

the way im gonna beat your ass in practice the second i see you 🤗

**dead inside**

the way you gonna try me but you wont bc we all know youre a pussy 😜

**best setter**

the way youre gonna do 50 laps in practice 😇

**dead inside**

the way im gonna tell iwaizumi-san 🥱

**seme eitass**

the way im gonna head over to seijoh to fuck you up 👹

**dead inside**

the way im gonna let you do whatever you wanna do with me, daddy 😳

**no shit**

CHILD—🤡

**bitchass lamppost**

THE WAY YOU ALL LOST TO KUNIMI 

JASJIAJSIWJSIWIJQNDENDJJ 🤣🤣🤣

**atsuwu**

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**baby snek**

😂😂😂😂

**seme eitass**

...

**creampfuff**

🙃

**salt shaker**

😑

**best setter**

THAT’S IT IM DISOWNING KUNIMI-CHAN

IDC IDC IDFC 🤩

**soft mom**

can i have him then? ☺️

**best setter**

GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY BABY 

GRRRR GRRRR BARK BARK WOOF 🤬

**no shit**

gUrL 🤨

**bitch**

GUYS LOOK AT WHAT KUROO-SAN SENT ME

**bitchass lamppost**

sometimes i just want the captains chat to disappear

** bitch **

WAIT—

BITCH 😡

** bitchass lamppost  **

why daichi-san thought it was a great idea to introduce

the fuckboi and coochie man to bokuto-san and kuroo-san

is a question i will never have an answer to 🧐

**bitch**

1\. rude 😤

2\. STOP IT WITH THE COOCHIE SHIT

3\. lol daishou-san did you know that your

baby snek is getting it on with nekoma's baby libero?

**baby snek**

🤡🔪🔪keep talking hoe

**sneky hiss hiss**

w h a t

i thot glasses was kidding! wtf

**bitch**

_[ bitch has sent two cute attachments uwu ]_

**atsuwu**

THEY LOOK SO ADORABLE

**best setter**

IM CRYINGHAJAJKSAA

SO PRECIOUS 😭

**soft mom**

AAAAAHHHHHHH BABIES!!

SO CUTE 🥰

**seme eitass**

my heart is smiling 😭🥰🥰

**tired snek**

awwweee my child is growing up 😭

**no shit**

YASSS THAT'S MY SON 😭

kuguri if you ever make him cry imma

hunt you down and kill you ok? 🤗

**baby snek**

WE'RE NOT DATING

**bitch**

yet 😏

**owomoo**

honey, just confess

**sloth**

bc it looks like he likes you too

**suffering**

i thot shibayama was dating that

one middle blocker from nekoma?

**bitchass lamppost**

leg?

ah shit, i meant *lev

**atsuwu**

leg 😂

**i just want some milk**

leg

**dead inside**

leg

**bitchass lamppost**

stfu 😃

**soft mom**

noooooooo

yaku and lev are dating

**i just want some milk**

oh wow that's some

david and goliath type shit

**soft mom**

TSUKI—

oh wait lol i meant

KAGEYAMA TOBIO WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE

**bitchass lamppost**

thanks mom -.-

**soft mom**

force of habit ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**apple pie**

akaashi meant inuoka

and no, they're not dating

i think inouka has a crush on shoyo idk for sure tho

**bitch**

isn't kageyama dating the shrimp tho

**i just want some milk**

no? hinata and i are just friends

besides, i like someone else

**atsuwu**

that's me 😼

**sasuke but prettier**

keep dreaming (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞

**soft mom**

lol

**sneky hiss hiss**

BITCHES LISTEN UP

**judging u 24/7**

what

**sneky hiss hiss**

numai just asked me out in a date tomorrow

what do i do?? 😭

**apple pie**

idk

**dead inside**

just go ffs 

dont waste free food 🙄

**sloth**

yes just go for the food 🤪

**salt shaker**

make sure to pick the most expensive

ones on the menu 😎

**bitchass lamppost**

drain his wallet 😜

**sasuke but prettier**

make sure he takes you to a clean restaurant

we dont want no rats in your food 🤩

**seme eitass**

wtf is wrong with you kids 🤠

**owomoo**

do ya like him tho?

**atsuwu**

ya don’t have to go if ya don't like him 🥺

**sneky hiss hiss**

i dont know! i think i like him 😖

but at the same time i dont? 😟

**creampuff**

make up your goddamn mind sis 😌💅🏻✨

**judging u 24/7**

did u agree to go with him tomorrow?

**sneky hiss hiss**

yes, i'd feel bad if i turned him down 😔

**tired snek**

oh

**sneky hiss hiss**

oh?

**tired snek**

it's nothing 😊

im surprised he took this long tho

hes liked you since we were first years haha

im tired now imma go to sleep

goodnight (or morning idk lol) guys

**everyone in the chat**

gn

**sneky hiss hiss**

good night, koji 😊

**tired snek**

gn, suguru 😊

.

.

.

_**[** private chat with soft mom and tired snek **]**_

**soft mom**

you like him

**tired snek**

no shit 😒

**soft mom**

then confess to him!!

**tired snek**

no❤️

**soft mom**

why not 🥺

**tired snek**

bc he doesnt like me

**soft mom**

YOU DONT KNOW THAT

**tired snek**

but i do know 😭

**soft mom**

...

**tired snek**

the only reason why we hooked up last week was

bc he was still hung up on mika and needed a distraction

and i let him use me as a distraction. it was only a one time thing

nothing more nothing less. 🤗

**soft mom**

hiroo...🥺🥺

**tired snek**

just leave it, suga...i'll be fine 😊

i'll just endure it until graduation.

after that, i wont be seeing him anymore 🙂

**soft mom**

YOU ARE CONFESSING YOUNG MAN 😡

**tired snek**

no😘

**soft mom**

look, you may not believe me—

**tired snek**

yes, you're right 🤩

**soft mom**

but i think he likes you too

**tired** **snek**

pls dont get my hopes up 😭

**soft mom**

you never know if you dont confess

**tired snek**

😖 i'll think about it

**soft mom**

😊😊😊

yay! im here for you if you need me 🥺

**tired snek**

thanks suga ❤️

**soft mom**

anytime babe ❤️

.

.

.

_**bitch squad** _

_**[** 3:56 AM **]**_

**best setter**

soooooo, is everyone free this weekend? :)

**apple pie**

stfu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea where im going with this lol im just winging it 🤣🤣
> 
> sorry for any mistakes and typos haha


	9. kageyama harem

_**atsuwu** added **a fuckton of people** into the **chat**._

_**atsuwu** named the chat ' **the ultimate kageyama harem** '_

_**the ultimate kageyama harem** _

_**[** 6:46 AM **]**_

**i just want some milk**

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK

**bitchass lamppost**

i do not simp for the king wtf

**dead inside**

uh huh 🤨

if i recall correctly, you signed up when 

atsumu-san said we’d be a kageyama harem

**bitchass lamppost**

stfu 😁

**best setter**

EWWWWW I DONT LIKE TOBIO-CHAN ヽ(｀⌒'メ)ノ

**i just want some milk**

miya-san whyyyyyyyy 😩

**atsuwu**

bc everyone simps for ya

AND THEY CANT DENY IT 🤪

**umizoomi**

wtf is this

**sneky hiss hiss**

OMFG WHO TF IS UMIZOOMI 😂😂

**umizoomi**

oikawa wtf did you do to my user?! 🤬

**best setter**

🤗

**sasuke but prettier**

MIYA WTF

**owomoo**

can y'all specify which miya

y'all are referring to 😫

**sloth**

the stupid one ofc 🙄

**atsuwu**

so, it's samu 🤨

**salt shaker**

HA HA HA :)

sure it’s “samu” 🤡

**atsuwu**

WTF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN 👹

**thicc owl**

HEY HEY HEY

A NEW GROUP CHAT 🤪🤪

**terushit**

YASSSSSSS 🥳🥳

👁 👁

👃🏼

👅

**dead inside**

no 😻

**the motherfucking sun**

WHY IS THIS CHAT CALLED

THE ULTIMATE KAGEYAMA HAREM??!!!???!?!?

**soft mom**

HINATA SHOYOU WHY IS 

YOUR FUCKING USERNAME SPELT LIKE THAT

**seme eitass**

👁👄👁

**woof im a cat**

yes, i do simp for kageyama

how'd u know 🤯

**sneky hiss hiss**

ewww wtf is he doing here

**woof im a cat**

oi wtf why's the snake in this chat

**suffering**

GOD KILL ME NOW

**i just want some milk**

akaashi-san 🥺

**suffering**

on second thought

i wanna live

**terushit**

HELLO KAGEYAMA 😻

**soft mom**

NO NO NO NO

NO ONE'S TOUCHING THE BABY

**i just want some milk**

im not a baby ¯_| ಠ ∧ ಠ |_/¯

**seme eitass**

i think i cried at how cute he is

**salt shaker**

@kageyama

_[you make me uwu.jpeg](https://www.google.com.ph/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.es%2Fpin%2F708050372656811673%2F&psig=AOvVaw0ZW_HfdAvJXbH8bR5vzuHK&ust=1607444205867000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCPDm6buivO0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD) _

**i just want some milk**

i—😳

**moo moo mootherfuckers**

Hello. What is this?

**best setter**

EWWWW WHY DID YOU ADD USHIWAKA 🤮

**moo moo mootherfuckers**

Oikawa—

**best setter**

NO STFU 🤩

**seme eitass**

WHY TF IS WAKATOSHI’S USERNAME LIKE THAT

**woof im a cat**

that was me 

no need to thank me 😁

**salt shaker**

omfg

**moo moo mootherfuckers**

Is there something wrong with my username?

**thicc owl**

NOT AT ALL WAKA WAKA DEAREST 😚

**suffering**

omfg 😫

**baki baki bitch**

OOOOOHHHHHHHH

HELLO PEOPLE 🤪🤪

**seme eitass**

oh god why tf is he here

**baki baki bitch**

SEMI SEMI 🥰🥰

**seme eitass**

BEGONE SATAN ✝️

**judging u 24/7**

lol

**atsuwu**

anygays! greetings, my fellow simps!! 🥰

**bitchass lamppost**

imma leave

**dead inside**

stop lying to yourself

you simp for kageyama just as much

as you simp for your boyfriend

**bitchass lamppost**

_[you finna die bitch.jpeg](https://www.google.com.ph/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F273171533637029722%2F&psig=AOvVaw0Y7ihy6eocdmUTonzElECw&ust=1607444350093000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCKDBzv6ivO0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD) _

**angry turnip**

wtf is this

**i just want some milk**

EWWWW

MIYA-SAN WHY IS HE HERE?! 😖

** owomoo **

kageyama, pls specify which miya ☹️

** i just want some milk **

i meant atsumu-san, 

sorry osamu-san 🥺

im just not used to calling atsumu-san by his name yet 😖

** owomoo **

issokay 🥺

** i just want some milk **

but fr tho, why is the turnip in this chat 😒

**angry turnip**

fuck you too

**atsuwu**

HEY NO ONE'S HATING ON

MY TOBIO-KUN IN THIS CHAT 🤬

**no shit**

do i have to endure this 🙃 

**bitchass lamppost**

^

**soft mom**

kageyama, i forgot to ask...

do you have any photos from the

all japan youth camp?

**seagull looking ass**

what's this

**i just want some milk**

oh hello hoshiumi-san ＼(^▽^＠)ノ

**seagull looking ass**

[ _you cute.jpeg_ ](https://www.google.com.ph/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fbatiddy%2Flove-reactions%2F&psig=AOvVaw0ZW_HfdAvJXbH8bR5vzuHK&ust=1607444205867000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCPDm6buivO0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAK)

also, i have pics from the camp 😁

majority of them are of atsumu flirting with kageyama tho

**atsuwu**

WHAT

**owomoo**

lol cant keep it yer pants cant ya tsumu? 😂

**sloth**

LMFAO

**best setter**

HE WAS WHAT 🙂

**umizoomi**

why tf are you acting like a jealous bf

**best setter**

I AM NOT

**seagull looking ass**

so you guys wont mind if i send some pics? 🤪

**terushit**

SEND AWAY

**woof im a cat**

SEND AWAY

**atsuwu**

DO NOT SEND THOSE PICS

**i just want some milk**

PLEASE NO

**soft mom**

ok now im curious 🧐

**i just want some milk**

MOOOOOOOOM **😫**

**bitchass lamppost**

tbh i need blackmail

**salt shaker**

SEND THEM

**creampuff**

OH HELL YES 

S E N D T H E M

MY GALLERY NEEDS MORE CUTE KAGEYAMA

**sneky hiss hiss**

eh i dont really care

**tired snek**

oh what's this

**i just want some milk**

HIROO-SAN 😍🥰💞💞

**tired snek**

hi kageyama 🥰

**umizoomi**

who tf is he and why is kageyama sending him hearts

**best setter**

now whos acting like a jealous bf 😒

**umizoomi**

stfu 😘

**tired snek**

ok but srsly whats this?

**moo moo mootherfuckers**

Kageyama's ultimate harem, apparently...

**tired snek**

oh ok

**seagull looking ass**

oh wait!!

sakusa, you dont mind right?

**sasuke but prettier**

why would i mind?

**seagull looking ass**

arent you and atsumu dating?

**owomoo**

B I T C H W H A T 🤠

**atsuwu**

NO WE'RE NOT

**soft mom**

tbh, i thought you two were dating

and that sakusa was just being a tsundere like tsukishima

**bitchass lamppost**

im not a tsundere 😤

**woof im a cat**

babe...😔

**bitchass lamppost**

...fine 🥶

**sasuke but prettier**

no we're not together

**seagull looking ass**

oh, ok then 🤪

anygays! are you homos ready!!?

**soft mom**

yes

**judging u 24/7**

yes

**salt shaker**

my gallery is ready

**seagull looking ass**

_[atsukage cute.jpeg](https://www.google.com.ph/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fnl.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F763430574325666838%2F&psig=AOvVaw0kHQPR4b8giEkHtfebxFhZ&ust=1607444459836000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCICNs7OjvO0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAU) _

_[atsumu thinking he a smooth motherfucka.jpeg](https://www.google.com.ph/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F783978247624641864%2F&psig=AOvVaw0kHQPR4b8giEkHtfebxFhZ&ust=1607444459836000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCICNs7OjvO0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAa) _

_[atsumu the panicked gay.jpeg](https://www.google.com.ph/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F727964727241208776%2F&psig=AOvVaw0kHQPR4b8giEkHtfebxFhZ&ust=1607444459836000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCICNs7OjvO0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABBD) _

**soft mom**

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

THEY EVEN HAVE A SHIP NAME 😭

**atsuwu**

HOSHIUMI KORAI

**seagull looking ass**

i have more 🤪

**bitchass lamppost**

dont mind me im just secretly saving pics 🥰

**seagull looking ass**

_[atsukage in the morning.jpeg](https://www.google.com.ph/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fnadaboodraws.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F171994411862%2Fi-live-for-atsukage-as-well-as-i-live-for-osahina&psig=AOvVaw33gyFYNNC_6357RC_tRUIl&ust=1607477823924000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCNDfgdufve0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD) _

_[atsukage waking up.jpeg](https://www.google.com.ph/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F347199452514767247%2F&psig=AOvVaw33gyFYNNC_6357RC_tRUIl&ust=1607477823924000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCNDfgdufve0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAP) _

_[atsukage sleeping.jpeg](https://www.google.com.ph/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.co.uk%2Fpin%2F717339046886105058%2F&psig=AOvVaw2Ka9RF-_i-TtFPRf8L1CtO&ust=1607478021733000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCLjByragve0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAj) _

_[oh yeah this also happened look at kageyama’s smile uwu.jpeg](https://www.google.com.ph/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fbuhitter.com%2Fsearch%3Fq%3Datsukage%26offset%3D20&psig=AOvVaw2Ka9RF-_i-TtFPRf8L1CtO&ust=1607478021733000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCLjByragve0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABBa) _

**i just want some milk**

WHY DO YOU HAVE PICTURES OF US SLEEPING

AND WAKING UP IN THE MORNING

**seagull looking ass**

why are you two sleeping

in a single futon in the first place? 🤨

**i just want some milk**

I GET COLD EASILY AND ATSUMU-SAN IS WARM OKAY 😭😭

**atsuwu**

AJKSJWKAJSKIDJHSUWSJ

**owomoo**

i can confirm that he is indeed broken 😔 

**sloth**

pffft fcking pussy 😂

**judging u 24/7**

I LOVE THIS

**salt shaker**

*saves*

**creampuff**

AAAAAHHHHH SO ADORABLE

**seme eitass**

IM CRYINGAISISJA

**soft mom**

MY BABY IS GROWING UP 😭

**atsuwu**

for everyone except tobio-kun:

╭∩╮(ಠಠ)╭∩╮

**i just want some milk**

😳

**umizoomi**

...

**best setter**

i—

**thicc owl**

TSUM TSUM YOU DIDNT TELL

ME YOU HAD A CRUSH ON KAGEYAMA 😫

**atsuwu**

I DO NOT JASNAKJSIQJAAK

**sasuke but prettier**

...

**suffering**

ngl they kinda cute

**thicc owl**

AKAAAAASHHEEEEEHHHHH 😍

**no shit**

if u dont stfu rn imma kamehamehaduken

ur mcfucking clown ass all the way to fucking pluto 🤩

**bitch**

yo what did i miss?

OOOOOH A NEW GC🤪

OHOHOHOHO A KAGEYAMA HAREM 🤪🥰🤩

**terushit**

KENJI ❤️

**bitch**

YUUJI 🥰

**creampuff**

where tf have you two been

ennoshita youve been gone a while

**no shit**

tanaka got his hand stuck down the toilet

and i had to help him get it out 🤮

**terushit**

CHIKARA WE HAVE MATCHING USERNAMES 🥰

**no shit**

begone thot 🤩

and who gave you

permission to call me by my name? 🤨

**terushit**

I DID 🤪

**bitch**

i had to murder kogane bc he was bothering me 😝

**the motherfucking sun**

oh so that's why he stopped replying to my texts

also, do you guys want pics of tsukki and kageyama? 🤗

**i just want some milk**

HINATA NO

**judging u 24/7**

HINATA YES

**bitchass lamppost**

1\. dont call me tsukki

2\. DROP THOSE PICS AND YOURE GONNA REGRET IT

**sneky hiss hiss**

tbh i just want some cute kageyama content 🤩

**tired snek**

same

**salt shaker**

same

**umizoomi**

we shouldnt invade their privacy like that

**the motherfucking sun**

i do not see ➖👄➖

**terushit**

SEND PLS 🥺

**umizoomi**

😃

**the motherfucking sun**

_[tsukki is a fucking simp and doesn’t let anyone other than kageyama use his glasses.jpeg](https://www.google.com.ph/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F32932641009455751%2F&psig=AOvVaw2U1tYwgA6btWRgFmkI_0So&ust=1607478348752000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCOjWpdehve0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAJ) _

_[tsukki got dared to kiss kageyama on the cheek lol look at this simp.jpeg](https://www.google.com.ph/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F699113542141573397%2F&psig=AOvVaw2U1tYwgA6btWRgFmkI_0So&ust=1607478348752000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCOjWpdehve0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAQ) _

_[lmao this fucking simp i cant *gay wheezing*.jpeg](https://www.google.com.ph/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Fikonicwriter%2Fstatus%2F991217634505998336%3Flang%3Dca&psig=AOvVaw2U1tYwgA6btWRgFmkI_0So&ust=1607478348752000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCOjWpdehve0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABA0) _

**soft mom**

AAAAAAHHHHHHHH

**woof im a cat**

BABE YOU GUYS LOOK SO FUCKING

ADORABLE 🥰🥰🥰😍😍😭😤😖🥰😍😘🤩🥰

**bitchass lamppost**

😳😳

**suffering**

its cute that tsukishima lets kageyama use his glasses 😩

**thicc owl**

TSUKIIIIIIIII 🥰🥰

**bitchass lamppost**

someone pls kill me 😍

**i just want some milk**

😳

**atsuwu**

TOBIO-KUN WHY 😭

**sasuke but prettier**

why are you acting like a jealous bf 😒

**seme eitass**

why are YOU acting like a jealous bf 🤨

**sasuke but prettier**

im not tho

**baki baki bitch**

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NICE JOKE 🙃

**bitchass lamppost**

_[look at this bitch enjoying a piggyback ride.jpeg](https://www.google.com.ph/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F862369028631842996%2F&psig=AOvVaw0wC6QtdF4m97B_OjmO_qRE&ust=1607478695115000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCKCzo_eive0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD) _

_[look at this hoe just casually proposing and the king playing along lmao this is top tier simping right here bitches.jpeg](https://www.google.com.ph/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F430023464409818416%2F&psig=AOvVaw0wC6QtdF4m97B_OjmO_qRE&ust=1607478695115000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCKCzo_eive0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAl) _

_[look at this hoe istg.jpeg](https://www.google.com.ph/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Faminoapps.com%2Fc%2Fyaoi-anime-and-manga%2Fpage%2Fblog%2Fkagehina-13%2F1PK3_kMi6uzNop3r8R74Y5RN5YvPXGrbJ0&psig=AOvVaw0wC6QtdF4m97B_OjmO_qRE&ust=1607478695115000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCKCzo_eive0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAq) _

**the motherfucking sun**

tsukishima u shit

**soft mom**

AAAAHHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭

**woof im a cat**

adorable

**creampuff**

AJNHDJIAJISISAJAIS

**dead inside**

someone come collect yahaba-san 🤩

**angry turnip**

i can hear his screams through my screen 😭

**moo moo mootherfuckers**

I don't get it. Is Kageyama dating all three of them?

**baki baki bitch**

NONONONO WAKATOSHI-KUN 🤩

i think atsumu likes flirting with kageyama

but with hinata and tsukishima i think it's more of a

really close friendship where they're comfortable with

cuddles and skinship and stuff like that 😚🤗🤗

**moo moo mootherfuckers**

Oh, I understand now. That’s cute.

**i just want some milk**

i suddenly want ushijima-san to call me cute everyday 😳

**moo moo mootherfuckers**

Do you really? I can do that. I think.

**i just want some milk**

JAKJSIAJSIHSHDJA

**baki baki bitch**

WAKATOSHI YOU BROKE KAGEYAMA 😭

**atsuwu**

NOOOOOOO MY TOBIO-KUN 😭

**best setter**

EEEEEWWWWW USHIWAKA 🤮

**umizoomi**

you fucking simp stfu oikawa 🤩

**the motherfucking sun**

OH LOL TSUKKI AND KAGEYAMA CLOSE FRIENDS! 😂

#exposedtbitches

**bit lamppost**

i will gut you 😘

**woof im a cat**

babe, we've talked about this

no more murders for this month 🥺

**bitchass lamppost**

...fine 😤

**baki baki bitch**

wait what 🤡

**sneky hiss hiss**

uhhhh

**tired snek**

_🚪 🏃💨_

**seme eitass**

ok, but why did sakusa, oikawa and iwaizumi

suddenly get too quiet 🤨

**salt shaker**

oop 👀

**sneky hiss hiss**

thats sus 🧐

**umizoomi**

shut up 😁

**best setter**

can u fcking not 🤗

**sasuke but prettier**

literally pls go die

**seagull looking ass**

I LOVE THIS CHAT 🤩

**owomoo**

🍵

**atsuwu**

TOBIO-KUNNNNNN

**i just want some milk**

yes, atsumu-san?

**atsuwu**

ily 🥰

**i just want some milk**

...

i love you too ❤️

**judging u 24/7**

WHY DOES HE ALWAYS GET AFFECTION

**creampuff**

WHY IS KAGEYAMA SO CUTE 😭

**bitch**

I FUCKING KNOW RIGHT 😫

**terushit**

THATS IT IM CRASHING KARASUNO'S

PRACTICE TOMORROW IDC IDC 😤

**seme eitass**

count me in!!!

see ya kageyama 🥰🥰

**soft mom**

GRR BARK BARK WOOF GRRR

STAY AWAY FROM MY BABY 😡

**the motherfucking sun**

NO ONE IS GETTING NEAR KAGEYAMA 🤬🤬🤬

**bitchass lamppost**

🙂🔪

**thicc owl**

scary 😦

AGAASHEEEH HOLD ME IM SCARED 😱 

**suffering**

*sigh*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look, idk what i wrote and i have no excuses...but i hope y'all enjoyed it anyway ☺️ i was in a kageyama mood and im sorry for those who dont like it 🤩 this also might be the last one for a while, bc im pretty busy with school, so i wont be able to update that much...and if this whole work looks familiar, its bc i posted this on wp already 😅 but i made a few changes and added a few stuff here that werent on wp 😂


	10. excitement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> terushima and futakuchi are excited, kageyama can’t stop simping for ushijima, oikawa doesn’t like it, and ennoshita snaps.

_**the ultimate kageyama harem** _

_**[** 1:24 AM **]**_

**terushima**

OMFG I CANT SLEEP

**futakuchi**

ME TOO BRO 😭

**shirabu**

should we pretend to care or...?

**terushima**

ur mean shirababe 😔

**shirabu**

fuck you 🖕

dont call me that 😙

**sugawara**

WHY THE FUCK ARE Y'ALL STILL AWAKE

**semi**

SUGA CALM THE FUCK DOWN

**sugawara**

I AM CALM TF YOU MEAN!?

**miya atsumu**

...

that's calm?

**terushima**

I'M JUST EXCITED BECAUSE I'M

SEEING KAGEYAMA TOMORROW 😌

**futakuchi**

OH YES SAME 😌✨

**hinata**

over. my. short. dead. body.

**yahaba**

lmao he admitted he was short 😭🤚

**kageyama**

hinata did you really just say that—

**sugawara**

none of y'all animals is getting

near the baby crow or else y'll dead🔪

**kawanishi**

HA JOKE'S ON YOU!

I WANNA DIE 🙃

**kuguri**

same

**kunimi**

same

**akaashi**

same

**sakusa**

same

**suna**

same

**kenma**

same

**bokuto**

AGAASHEEHHH NO—

**kuroo**

KYANMAAA—

**semi**

you kids definitely need help

**daishou**

kuguri, hunny, we're gonna

have a long talk tomorrow

**kuguri**

no❤️

**daishou**

kuguri—

**kuguri**

YOU CAN'T MAKE ME 😡

**hiroo**

kuguri naoyasu.

**kuguri**

...

fine 😭

**daishou**

thanks koji ☺️

**hiroo**

no problem 🙂

**sugawara**

👀

**hiroo**

✨S H U TY O U RD A M NM O U T H✨

**sugawara**

i didn't even say anything 😌🤚

**kuroo**

👀

**bokuto**

👀

**hiroo**

i will skin you both alive

and drown you in a tub of

salt and squeeze lime juice all over

your ugly skinless bodies if you don't shut it 😌💅🏻✨

**tendou**

lmao i stan you 😔🤚

**kuroo**

😨

**bokuto**

AGAASHEEH SAVE ME 😭

**akaashi**

calm down bokuto san he won't actually do it

**hiroo**

lmao wanna bet? 🤨

**daishou**

what the fuck

**tendou**

do it you ✨pussy✨

**iwaizumi**

don't you people ever sleep on time?

**shirabu**

and yet you're awake too

**kageyama**

i'm not sleepy 🤷🏻♀️

**iwaizumi**

my phone keeps dinging from all the notifs 😒

**tsukishima**

there's this wonderful thing

called the "mute" button

you should try it sometime ☺️

**iwaizumi**

you disrespectful little shit—

**oikawa**

YOOHOO~

**kageyama**

i'm suddenly very sleepy

goodnight everyone ✌️

**oikawa**

MEAN TOBIO-CHAN MEAN 😭

**miya atsumu**

LMAO 😭🤚

**miya osamu**

TSUMU CAN YA SHUT YER DAMN TRAP?!

UNLIKE YA I'M TRYIN TO SLEEP HERE

**miya atsumu**

WHAT DID I DO?!

**miya osamu**

YER CACKLIN' LIKE A FUCKEN

DERANGED CHICKEN I CAN

FUCKEN HEAR YOU FROM HERE

**futakuchi**

A DERANGED CHICKEN 🐔

**terushima**

LMAO I CANTSHUAHUSHKKA

**tendou**

IM LOVING THIS 😭

**miya atsumu**

then don't listen? istg yer so dumb samu 😌🤚

**suna**

bitch is that how you think hearing works i—

**hoshiumi**

lmao y'all are a fun bunch 😌✨

**sakusa**

no they're not

**miya atsumu**

OMI-KUN 🥰

**tsukishima**

simp

**tendou**

simp

**akaashi**

simp

**bokuto**

simp

**kenma**

simp

**kuroo**

simp

**hinata**

simp

**kageyama**

simp

**kawanishi**

simp

**kuguri**

simp

**daishou**

simp

**yahaba**

simp

**semi**

simp

**ushijima**

simp

**terushima**

simp

**hiroo**

simp

**sugawara**

simp

**shirabu**

simp

**hoshiumi**

simp

**futakuchi**

simp

**miya osamu**

KEEP IT IN YER PANTS TSUMU

**miya atsumu**

GUYS WTF😭🤚

SAMU ISTG—

**suna**

lmao 📸

**sakusa**

🤢

**miya atsumu**

OMI-KUN YER HURTING MY FEELINGS 😭

**sakusa**

good

**miya atsumu**

😭😭😭

**hoshiumi**

it's okay atsumu, he actually simps for you in secret 😌

**sakusa**

just so you know,i am willing to go to jail

for the murder of one hoshiumi korai

**miya atsumu**

REALLY OMI?! YA SIMP FOR ME?

DO YA? DO YA? DO YA?

** kageyama **

that’s the most desperate i’ve seen you atsumu-san 😭🤚

**hoshiumi**

lmao you think you scare me sakusa?

whatcha gonna do? throw wet wipes at me 🤨

**oikawa**

i'm sorry but i laughed—

**sakusa**

AIGHT—

**terushima**

ANYGAYS! WHO'S GOING

TO KARASUNO TOMORROW?!

**futakuchi**

ME

**ushijima**

i'm going with tendou, semi, shirabu and kawanishi

**kageyama**

oh shit 😳

**shirabu**

oh my god he has a crush on captain 😩

**sugawara**

ok, since kageyama likes ushiwaka

imma let shiratorizawa come

but terushima and futakuchi aren't welcome

**terushima**

NOW THAT'S JUST UNFAIR

**futakuchi**

THIS IS RACISM!! ☝️

**kawanishi**

bruh we're all japanese what the fuck—

**tsukishima**

lmao i can tell the king's blushing so hard rn

**kageyama**

N-NO I'M NOT

**hinata**

bitch did you really just stutter over text?

**oikawa**

TOBIO-CHAN STOP SIMPING FOR USHIWAKA 😭

**ennoshita**

CAN YOU PEOPLE GO TO

FUCKING SLEEP ALREADY AND STOP

SPAMMING THE GC?! GODDAMMIT I'M

TRYNA SLEEP HERE ISTG IMMA SUMMON

A FUCKING DEMON TO HAUNT Y'ALLS ASSES

IF Y'ALL DON'T STOP THIS SHIT 🥰🖕🖕🖕

_**everyone** has gone offline._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so so sorry for the long wait, i had writer's block and i couldn't come up with the right words/stuff to write for this particular fic 😭 anyways, it might take a long time for the next update since i'm planning on having it in a narrative format and that's always been harder to do for me, so i hope y'all aren't too bored with this book or to fed up with the inconsistent updates 😔
> 
> anyways, ‼️shameless plug‼️ i now have a youtube channel and i already posted a few haikyuu chat videos on there, so if y'all are getting fed up with me not updating here, maybe check it out? 👉👈 i post there i guess, semi-regularly(?) but i have to warn you guys tho, they suck 😔 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJRS7e9O3WX-geOtVyGZmgA
> 
> anyways! i hope you guys enjoyed this short update, i promise, i'll try my absolute best to write the narrative chapter for it to not suck lmao


End file.
